Yoga is much more than just a physical thing for me. It helps me understand myself and my body and what my needs are. I am more connected to my emotions.
All the emotions I experience on the mat are parallel to my reactions in life. It helps me think about my self and about some questions in life. It’s really a very powerful tool for my inner work .
•What am I afraid of ?
•How I act when I'm afraid? Do I accept where I am?
•How do I feel when I fall? Do I have the strength to get up?
•Am I brave enough?
•Do i wait patiently ?
•Not giving up but accepting when i don't have the strength.
•Experiencing the feeling of success and failure. Poses don’t have to be perfect and neither does every moment of life. Yoga helps me letting go of perfectionism.
•Lowering the ego. Everybody's yoga practice and life timeline is different. It is sometimes very hard not to compare your self with others but i assume that i am becoming more and more on this better everyday. it's not a race,i don't have to prove anything to anyone, we are all trying our best to move forward, become better, allow things happen with ease, follow the right path. What feels easy and right for someone can be different for other..
•Staying with my breath and just being in that moment. Yoga is about intentionally slowing down.
•I learned also bravely owning this time for my self without any guilt.
•Union with self. It reminds me of appreciating every moment. There is no rush, everyone in his/her own time.
I think I have loved painting and creating since I was 2 years old. I remember from my elementary school years that I wanted to be a painter when I grew up. My family has always supported me in this regard. From an early age, I have always knew what it was to produce and spend hours in a studio or around a table with the blank paper.. Then, when it was time for university, I had no other thought but to study in an art school. I finished 4 years successfully. Then master. Afterwards, I made productions in the field of contemporary art for about 10 years in my own studioin Istanbul. They were very productive years. I participated in many exhibitions, opened personal exhibitions. On the other hand, I organised lots of colorful workshops for children where we activated our creativity together.
I experienced the biggest change in my life after I moved to Tel Aviv with my husband. I never thought that moving would be such a big change in my life. I remembered saying all the time that i am an artist i can work wherever i am, my desk and my blank paper would be enough. However, artists are fed by their roots, right? When the roots become blurry, our feet will not be able to touch the ground, we will not know where we are and what we are doing. There is always a feeling of strangeness. I also had lost my art social community. The social network I had built for so many years had gradually disappeared. All I wanted was to find the sense of belonging I needed again. I wanted to be able to reconnect with my creativity.
Two years after I moved, I became a mother. After Lavi borned for around two years i couldn’t touch my colors, my brushes , I felt really disconnected to my creative part, and felt gaining this part of mine with my son’s being creative moments. We painted a lot, got messy and had so much fun together.
It was not easy for me to produce art in these first two years, when I was fascinated by motherhood, experienced a lot of emotional ups and downs, and busy with growing up. I needed calmness and an empty mind to be able to paint and think about what I had produced. It was impossible when I was living in a flow of routines that I was racing against the clock, everything was according to Lavi’s rhythm. The creativity in me only emerged when we produced together, spontaneously. It helped me create something again. By tasting the purest form of art with him and children again, we enjoyed the moment of play and process. And I was again surrounded by this new creative process .
Then, illustration projects started to enter my life. It has been a great medium for me to reflect the world and spirit of childhood that I am already in and enjoy very much. At a time when I felt artistically lost, I found my new productive self with these projects. Nature and childhood have become my two favourite themes, new productions gave me the feeling that I am exactly where I need to be. I exist, I produce and I share. In this period when I could hardly connect with the contemporary art, this new way allowed me to breathe and feed and flow my creative spirit in a more free way.
As I started working on new illustrations, I started to think about what distinguishes painting practice from illustration practice. While painting, I always had many ideas in my mind. And there would be many questions around these ideas as well. As if each drawing would lead to many other questions. It is a process that triggers and feeds each other internally. On the other hand, illustration existed to convey a certain idea and concept. I used to think that I was telling a story while I was painting, and I am still telling a story when I am illustrating. But this time, it’s not just my questions and ideas. There are other narratives as well. One of the things that brings me back to my creative self is the collaborations with the illustration medium. Storytelling together creates mutual relationship and communication.
I used to be terrified of using terms like career, client, job, commissions. Because art was above everything, but today I understand that it is not shameful to start a business with your creation. In fact, being able to make art for a living is an amazing thing.
People always ask new mothers if they could return the old themselves i mean to return to their old body, work, social life, etc. Actually, there is no such thing as going back to the same person . I think it’s just about creating a new version of you.
So for this first blog post i want to finish my story with these simple words: Hello to New Me! And thank you for being here and be part of my journey !